Okay

Ahh, The Cure. I really haven't given them enough listening time I think. That is, until now.

I'm listening to their fourth album. It's called Pornography! It's pretty good. I really like Pornography. When it was released, people said that Pornography was too dark and gothic, hard to digest. But, I think that's what makes Pornography interesting. It's not afraid to wail, or say "I will never be clean again", and sound like it means it. That's what I like. Also the drums are particularly heavy in this. Not fast or anything, just pounding. So, in conclusion, Pornography is good.

My friend is gone now, and he left his potato here too. It's growing horrible tumour-like growths on it, and it has this kind of crooked smile on it, with perpetually raised eyebrows. As if it feeds off it's own curiosity. We threw it around a bit too, so it's become all scratched and misshapen too. So it's just sitting there on my desk, looking out at the distance, almost longingly. Like it can see through the window, see the eagles flying, see the people like ants below, and it just wants to join them. Or crush and destroy them all, which, to be honest, would be more likely from such a demonic looking spud.

Ahh, that's some good water I just drunk.

My nose has been so dang runny lately. Like a marathon runner. And every time I blow, it's like it's doing a sprint section. My Nose's cardiovascular fitness must be insane by now. Ever since the holidays began it's been like this. That's a whole week from today, pretty much! Although, I think tomorrow, it'll finally take a rest. About damn time. Just like every other part of me, it'll soon be infected with the apathetic laziness I've grown so accustomed too.

To be perfectly frank, Mr. Shank, I've been having a really hard time actually writing on this thing. I've done so many different drafts of all my posts. But. Whatever I talked about just seemed really trivial, like, who the hell would care? But then realising that kind of helped this wake up I had. I shouldn't care if what I'm writing is trivial or not. It doesn't matter if people like it or not, as long as it's something I want to mention. Cause after all, is this not what blogger is forrrr? And I also have to thank A friend named Jimmy, for some kind of weird shout out he did on my blog. So, I guess I'll return the favour. By doing the exact same thing for him! So, go on everyone, check out his relatively decent (okay, it's pretty fucking good) blog: Here

Okay, that's all for now folks. 

Catch you on the flip side. 

Rotated again by 63 degrees.

And then lightly broiled to perfection.

Once there is a crispy outside, you'll know it's ready.

If the skin turns into a scab, it's been too long. 

Serve with Chamomile tea and a good book.

Groper

All day my head has been completely congested. I want to slip off my nose and feed it to a wild dog, and then wait for it to shit it out before putting it back on. That'd be good, 'cause having no nose would be better than this feeling right now. Not even sure what it's from. Probably an allergic reaction to my friend who's staying over for a week!

Naaah.

I think it might have finally sunk in now that I'm on holidays. For the past few days, I haven't really felt the relief of having the pressure of turning up at school every day leaving. Like in the back of my mind I'm still thinking about whether or not I have homework I should be doing that's due Monday. But that'll pass. Probably around the time we start back in school. Mocks!

Oh, good news. My hair is now long enough to successfully head-bang again. Actually, I don't know if that can really be considered good, seeing as that means pretty soon my hair will get to that annoyingly long stage. That's when I'll cut it. And it will be no more. Only a few more months till I get a green Mohawk.

Around this time I always make promises to myself, like: "Oh yeah! I'm gonna finish a whole album before the new year!" Or something else along those lines. But, I'm not going to do that this time. Because, it's almost as if I'm setting myself up for failure. Sure, It's great to have goals and work towards them. But I think my head is sometimes a bit in the clouds, so I build up the thoughts of "yeah, this'll be great", but then I don't realise time passing. I swear sometimes it moves so slow, I can see it slip through my fingers. But then other times it's so fast, I forget what day it is. I think this kind of mind-frame I've been in might be the source of my obliviousness at times. I'm so caught up in trying to think about how nice things will be, that I don't realise the things going on right now around me.

My friend likes to grope me.

Clutter

So it's kind of got to the point where I've been holding off saying much about anything, because I can't tell whether or not it's worth saying or not, and it's all just built up. Kind of like a hoarder, except the hoard is in my head. But I guess the whole junk part is still applicable.

Well then, on Saturday night, after coming home from dropping off a particularly awesome person, I went into my room, and lo and behold, look at what was in the middle of my room. Some fucking cat piss. All over some music notes that I did in class. By by yellow river second movement notes, you will be sorely missed... Especially when I'll be needing you for revision.
Thankfully that was about it. It didn't get on any of my actual books, so that's something.
But the only question left now is... Which cat did it? Gaaaaaahhhh. Yeah.

THE SOUL, THE HEART AND THE MIND. That's what this post should be about. Apparently. Why? Why not, right?

Let's see, okay. Let's take this as literally as possible.

The Soul: Well, I'm still not convinced if there really is one, or if it's just an aspect of our brain, or if it really matters if we have one or not. So that hasn't really changed I suppose since this time last year, when I wrote my post on souls.

The Heart: Right now my chesty area feels kinda warm. But that's cause I think I'm having a little heart burn. Cause I got a buurrnniing heeeaaarrt. Nah, actually, biologically speaking, heartburn isn't even from the heart. It's stomach acid stuck up above my stomach because of the sphincter between my oesophagus and stomach. And that just happens to be around my heart. So, if I were to judge my actual heart condition, then it seems to be pretty fine right now. When I was about 13, I made a bet with my old friend from Australia that if I don't have a heart attack by the time I turn 18, I get 200 bucks. Seems like I'm pretty close now to winning! Wow... I never realised how long ago that was.. Damn.

The Mind: Ohhhh, my mind. My mind, my mind, my mind. Where is my mind? In my head, duh. But no, that's really just my brain. My mind, is something completely different. It's in the clouds probably. But that's too cliché for me. Yeah, my mind's probably in the ocean. Deep sea diving. Kinda just soaking up and absorbing everything around. Trying not to drown. But then I'm kind of already in deep water now, aren't I!? (Metaphorical water anyway.) So THAT'S kind of out of the question. But yeah, no, in all seriousness, I think my mind is going pretty good lately. Rarely straying into some dark corner to go mope around a bit like it did a lot this past year. I think learning about negative thought distortions helped though. Cause I'm able to call myself out on my crap talk that I do to myself. It's not like I mean to do it though, it's really hard to explain. I used to just be really hard on myself, in my head. And I don't think I realized it. So then I kinda spiralled. Wee. Like the spiralling feeling I get sometimes before I go to bed. Turns out that's cause of anxiety. Who would have thought, huh? But! I haven't been spiralling all that too often nowadays. So maybe. Just maybe. Things'll just keep being on the rise.

Here's hoping.

truth

I can be myself now finally. In fact there's nothing I can't be.