Bassy Bass

So today I had my first experience with headphones specifically designed to boost the bass in the music it's projecting.

Consequently it was so horrible, I threw up. It was just awful. Totally dreadful. Absolutely abysmal. I almost cried.

But alas, I had to make do.

I just don't understand what would make people actually want to do that though. I mean songs that are designed for a heavy bass will have a heavy bass. They're not gonna expect you to be wearing bass boosters, or to have this massive sub-woofer in your stereo set. And if they are expecting that, then they're just stupid morons. What's wrong with pure sound? You know, listening to something without any dumb boosts or reduction pasted on. But hey, if you wanna do that to your music, who am I to say you can't. Well I guess I'm not saying you can't. I'm just saying I don't understand why anyone would want to. If anyone has an answer, please, enlighten me.

Now then, I've got to re-create a graph in my economics IA because my dumb computer didn't want to save it properly it seems.

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Reality is relative.

Oh Shit!

Mother lickin', ass sucking, shit huffing, ear fucking, piss.

I WOKE UP LATE AGAIN!

It's 8:02 and I've only just got the rapid. It didn't help that the rapid took 20 fucking minutes to come. And the first one that passed me didn't feel like stopping for me.

Can you tell I'm just tryina to calm myself down? Hhhhh..

Goddamn.

Madly On Spins the World

After school today I decided to enjoy the weather. It was lightly trickling. So instead of going straight to the bus stop, all business as usual, I decided to go the opposite way. Just to feel the dribbles of rain lightly spit on me. It felt calm and also refreshing. I even missed a bus while on my walk, but I didn't mind. I ended up at the happy mart at one point so I thought I'd go grab some oreos. I had suddenly grown a craving for them. But the shop didn't have any. It was disappointing, but I guess it's good. One less packet of oreos down my ever-growing gut now.

My headphones have also lost a vital piece of them today too. Which is a shame because they were turning out to be so good. But now one of the little foamy earbuds that goes over the ear piece has ran away. I lost it this morning in school, so chances are I'll never see it again. Nonetheless I still tried listening to both sides of my headphones, even if one side was naked. It was a strange experience. I was listening to some Rise Against, with the unbalanced headphones, and suddenly my vision phased in and out of blurriness. This was happening while I was walking to the bus stop. It kind of felt like the side of the ear phone that was unprotected was just injecting sound into my brain, overloading its sensory functions, so everything became a blur. Of course my eyes blurring could just be from something else. But it did feel like it.

I've been going through a "hard-rock/heavy-metal" stage in my music listening lately. Hence the Rise Against. But when I stepped on the bus I suddenly felt like a change of pace. So I switched over to the Weepies' World Spins Madly On. Then my eyes went blurry again. It was a strange sensation. I don't think it was particularly healthy. I've entered a mellow phase now with my music listening. That'll probably last a couple of days before it morphs into something else. Before the hard rock phase I was in the acousticy-indie-country phase. That one was fun.

So all of that is basically what happened to me immediately after school one particularly uneventful Tuesday. It may sound all so trivial, but that's just because it is. And there's nothing wrong with that.

Good-by

I threw away that rank potato today. It was completely moldy. Not a fraction of it was left that wasn't either crumpled inwards or covered in a cancerous fungus. Gross. Eyuck. Eck. Nyeeeh. Nasty.

You know. I suddenly don't really feel like writing more. Ah, that's weird. Oh well. That's it I guess. Here's a completely unsubstantial piece of shit for anyone unlucky enough to stumble upon this.

Persevere.

Oh man, I'm so gullible. It's not even funny how easily I trust. But that doesn't stop me laughing at myself anyway. Damn. You'd think I'd have learned by now. But then I was never into the whole "learning from my mistakes" thing anyway. Hah, if only that were true.

My hat's off though. Goodshow, lad.

I'm in an almost empty bus now. I'm the only one in the pit, which is cool. Now chance to be squished next to someone and be forced to have some kind of horrible physical contact with someone. I never really sit down on busses, except for when I'm with someone else normally. No bus buddies this week, which was kind of sad. But it left me time for music I guess, so that's something. I'm listening to the Killers now. Haven't done that for a while now; listened to them. It's like catching up with an old friend I guess. Except there's no input from me and they're just shovelling everything I've already heard in my ear. But when it sounds this good, i'm not complaining. After the 100th time you listen to something, it always amazes me when I hear something new that I didn't notice. It really makes me appreciate something just that bit more than I already do.

Ah. Everything will be alright. That's the song that's playing right now. I believe in you and me. This is a nice song. I listened to it while I was doing my biology practical. Everything will be alright. Sometimes it's nice to hear someone say that to you I think. Even if it is just a stockpiled generic phrase of comfort, you can tell when it's genuine. Well maybe I couldn't since I'm so damn gullible, bit you get the picture. Unfortunately the song doesn't come with a reaffirming hug. Ah well. The strings that swell in and out of the verse kind of feel like one. A brain hug. I should stop talking about hugs now, it's starting to get a bit sad in here. In here In my head. But. Everything. Will be alright. Someday.

I'm really sad that our drummer has left the band. Playing with Half an Hour Late was the best time I had at the end of every week. He will be missed. But I understand why he needs to leave. No hard feelings. Just soft ones.

I'm off the bus now and I was typing that last sentence while i was walking and nearly walked into a wall. So, good-by now. See you never. Or tomorrow. Or tonight.

Frustration

It's like the feeling of being shot down before you actually lift off the ground. Probably what makes it feel worse is that's usually just accidental. It's like "oh, woops, i was just shooting the ground and your foot just happened to be there." But i mean i wouldn't reallly be able to hear that be said anyway, since I'd be writhing on the floor with a hole through my foot.

And i can't sleep, and i can't think straight; memories get cloudy and then others get into focus. Maybe i remember things wrong a lot? And my stomach is turning and doing backflips, and i can't sleep even though i felt as tired as a dead koala by 8 30. So I close my eyes now at 1 15 and i can't help but toss and turn just like my stomach. You are what you eat, right? So I guess that means Im just a dish of chicken rice. Makes sense.

But don't get me wrong. This is not me complaining, oh no no, far from it. I'm simply venting everything i feel inside my bubbling, whirling, blur of a mind. I think this is why i need to learn how to meditate. How can i ever expect to understand someone else when i can't even comprehend my own thoughts and thinking process. But man, just vegetables for a month. At least I'll probably end up at the end liking them. Desperation is the key. If you're desperate enough, you'll do anything. I guess. I've never reallly been in a dire situation that made me feel completely and utterly desperate while i scratched and clawed my eyes and heart out looking for room to breathe and a different perspective on things.

I'm not angry, that's not the right term. I'm not even confused either, because i know what's going on. I'm not dry reaching, nope, haven't thrown up since i threw up on that poor man in the cinema, oh god, i am still so sorry about that. Maybe my problem is I'm waking up every morning to the song "Why Bother" by Weezer. Its a great song but it's terribly sad but true. I don't think it entirely relates to me, but it's not exactly a positive track to get me jiving in the early hours. Being kept up by myself isn't very good either probably for tomorrow. I really just want to sleep. I don't even want to press post. But i will when Im done, because that's just what you do. You write whatever it is you write, no matter how trite, and you press post. That's the routine. And i love it. Order, i like order. Routine. Something i can fall back on and trust. I love being able to trust. Sometimes i trust too easily to my own detriment, i know. I take things seriously when i probably shouldn't. But it only ever occurs to me in hindsight. I hold on to a lot of things. I wouldn't call it baggage, because there's no suitcases involved. Haahahaha. Get it? Of course you do. Damn it. It's 1 30 now. Where does the time go? Up my ass and into the universe. Am i implying there's a universe up my ass? May as well. The human body is complex. Every living thing seems so complex. Im so genuinely astounded everytime i learn about a new process that makes life life. Its just amazing. That's why i like biology. Too bad i can't study for shit.

Can't or won't? I guess that question can apply to pretty much anything and everything O don't so. I can't or i won't finish my breakfast? I can't or i won't dance in the middle of the street? I can't or i won't stop making excuses for not doing things I tell myself Im going to do? I guess the question is pointless anyway because the end result is that i haven't done anything anyway. Whether i didn't do it because i was literally incapable or just subconsciously couldn't muster the power, it doesn't matter. Nothing was done. Nothing is done. Except for music IA but even that isn't completely finished.

Aah, I'm just frustrated. I'll get over it.

The summary of the summary of the first day back after the chinese new year half term break with which I did absolutely nothing important except for on Sunday where I finished my written assignment.

So i'm just sitting on my computer stool chair thing, and it's making my legs tired.

WHY!?

My legs are literally feeling exhausted right now just from sitting down in this particular chair. I have another chair next to it but it's identical, except it's the colour red. This one is black. Why do my legs hurt. So I'm standing up now. Yes, it's more comfortable now to type standing up than it is to sit down.

Speaking of the question "why?", that's what I shouted when my biology teacher hit my head today. He was trying to hit a fly but instead whomped the back of my head. I didn't expect it at all, so instead of going "ow" or "fuck", I just went "Why?". Hahaha, I don't know what made me ask. Guess I was just genuinely confused. Which I was.

Speaking of my head, I've got oil lathered all in it right now. It's apparently to help my psoriasis, and I suppose it did help today. I don't think my scalp snowed as much today as it did during the holidays. Because there's oil in my hair and I hate the feeling of having oily hair, it's also an incentive for me to shower too. Not that I need an incentive normally, of course... But to be honest I've always wondered if I'd be able to pull off a slick oiled back hairstyle. Short answer, no way. I'm not really surprised, but it's good to know just out of quenching my curiosity. Then again, this is only baby oil, so maybe if I used specially engineered and refined hair oil, it'd turn out better. Maybe one day. Wow, a whole paragraph talking about my hair. Great.

Speaking of great, I just got the Catcher in the Rye as a birthday present from my great friend. The book is pretty great so far. I've read more of it now than I have of the play I should be reading for English, that we'll probably be going over tomorrow. The Importance of Being Earnest. What is the importance of being earnest? Guess I'll find out if I actually read the play.

Speaking of reading a play, I really enjoyed Hamlet. I didn't like it so much in the beginning, but what can I say. It grew on me. And not even the bad kind of growth too, like a cancer or ulcer. But then I don't really know if there's such thing as a "good" growth anyway. Maybe there is, but I haven't come across one yet.

Speaking of growth, my brother is growing up so fast. He came into my room today and wanted to play percussion while I was practicing guitar. I thought that was really awesome, because he's never done that before. Like, never. In fact, the only time he ever comes into my room is when I have friends over. Then he seems to want to come in here all the freaking time. But it was nice just me and him. I tried to teach him a four-four beat on the drums; simple stuff. But after like twenty minutes he shouts "I'VE GOT NO SENSE OF TIMING!" and then went on to play the drum beat to Queen's "We will rock you". But he doesn't even know Queen made that song. And he probably doesn't actually know that song. He's too busy with songs from LMFAO and I dunno, Owl City or something. But at least he likes the Offspring. I've got a lot of music to show him one day. But I don't wanna shove it all down his throat at once, cause if he's anything like me (which he is, despite also being my polar opposite..) he'll get overwhelmed, and then translate that overwhelmedness to boredom. That kind of how I feel about maths right now. It's alright chapter by chapter, but now that I've got to know everything at once, it just comes across as unbelievably mind numbingly boring.

Speaking of maths, I survived school today. Yay.

So I wrote almost all of this standing up. I consider that an accomplishment, because why not. What have you accomplished today? And that's a genuine question. I'd like to know.

Urgh, it feels like I have oil in my eyes. Probably because I do.

Pre-bed ramblings

I woke up this morning at 10:30 AM. Surprisingly my throat was feeling a lot better, still tight, but okay. The only thing that was strange is that my head was now underneath both my pillows and the inside of my cheeks were completely cut up. Rough night I guess? Turns out the medicine I took last night wasn't actually the kind that helps you go to sleep. So I had the worst dreams possible. Eurgh. I can still remember them. I think what makes them worse is that they're set in everyday life. So I recognise everywhere. Or at least I feel like i recognise the places. They probably were distorted visions of reality, but in the moment they seemed so real. I remember I was able to wake myself up too during the dreams, thinking they'll be better if I wake up and then go to sleep afterwards. But nope.

Oh well, I've got the proper night time drugs in me now. Only a matter of time before I'm knocked out. I've got a double dosage in me too. That'll stop the dreams from coming back.

Goodnight.

Cold Sweat

It's one AM. I woke up at 11PM and went to sleep at 8PM. I haven't been able to get to bed since, despite my best efforts. You see, I've got this annoying dry cold. I hate dry colds way more than wet ones. At least when they're wet you can blow your nose and spit out phlegm without it hurting. Instead my throat feels like sandpaper and my nose is congested as this Chinese New Year traffic. The drugs I've taken to kill the pain have finally kicked in though, so it's not so bad right now. But I guess that's just because my senses have been dulled due to the painkillers. The medicine is actually supposed to make me drowsy, and it did the first time I took it at 8. But this time it hasn't seemed to do that. Ah well, I may as well enjoy this feeling of numbness before it wears off.

So, today is valentines day, huh? I completely forgot that's what the 14th is, but I just so happened to Google it just now. Talk about coincidence. I looked it up mainly because I wanted to see what it's actually supposed to be. I mean besides a monotised conspiracy by the valentines day card manufacturers. Apparently we should be having a big feast today. That's the tradition! Well, maybe not here. I also read that it was banned in Malaysia, and one year there was a time when something like 30 couples were arrested for celebrating. So tragic. But efforts to pull people apart normally just ends in those people becoming closer. It's so stupid. I mean I get that the whole ban was on religious matters, but still. Great way to promote your own religion. Punish people for completely pointless things because you can and have the power to, while just down the street there's probably something going on that actually deserves punishment. Eh, but i'm just stating the obvious. I doubt anyone reading this would't agree that it's stupid. I'm not sure if this whole outlawing of it is still going on though.

I've decided to listen through Green Day's second album Kerplunk. This is probably my favorite one. Next to Insomniac I think. They wrote this one when they were my age. I'm sure a more attuned music critic would find multiple things wrong with this album, but I don't care. I think it's pretty damn impressive, considering they were already touring by this time too. I'm not finding many redeeming factors about school now besides seeing my friends and music class. Can't wait for it all to be finally over. Only a few more months now. I won't be sick anymore by then too. So that'll be good. At least it's half term now. Well, it won't be for much longer though. I still need to do work. Haven't really done anything work related yet. Ah well, What's the worst that could happen? I fail my diploma? I begin a downward cycle of failure? I trip over a shred of grass again? I'd say the the third thing is probably the most likely to happen. But I highly doubt anything else too terrible will happen. Just take things as they come.

I'm sweating right now. Can't have the aircon on too high because of my throat, but I just can't sleep without the covers. Ahh, bed sheets. They're just so cozy. Hey, a thought burst in my head. And I need to tell you. It's worse than i forethought. Naaaah, not really. Those are just the first words to the song "Who Wrote Holden Caulfield?". You should look it up. Even if you may not like it.

I want to write a symphony one day. And a musical. And some kind of concerto. And an epic ballad. And a slow reflective song with piano and violin. And a funny song with a mandolin in it. And a Christmas song, because I hate Christmas songs. And a song in Spanish; something stupid and simple, but fun. And a concept album about someone crazy. And a love song that I actually like and think is worthy (all the ones I've done so far suck). And a song where I only say the word "fuck". Amn an original score for a whole movie. And a song where I sample in one of my cats meowing, cause that would be cute. Weeell, I'd actually like to make some of those things multiple times. And there's other things too. But I think you get the picture. There's a lot that I want to do. But it's not just doing them too though, they actually have to be good. and by good, I just mean something that I'm proud of, and that inspires others. If I can do even half the things on this list well, I would die a happy man. But I've got a good 143 years left before I die though. So that's plenty of time.

Alright, the album is over now. It ends with their cover of the Who's My Generation. It's pretty good. No epic bass solo though. But it does end with a burp. So that's cool. Okay I'm going to try and sleep again now. Maybe this time I'll be more successful. See you.

Just a normal post.

I just realised a running theme in Green Day's trio of albums is the line "she's in my blood" or "she is my blood". Sounds kind of extreme doesn't it? Eh, guess it's just hyperbole. But still. Sounds kinda silly to me. Or maybe it's just incredibly romantic and i'm too naïve to realize.

Anyways, that has nothing to do with anything about today. Today I went out to coffee randomly with someone, and it was unexpected, and I wasn't sure what I was doing while walking there. But, you know what? It was pretty fun. An interesting experience I suppose. Guess this is how you get to know people anyway; conversation over hot drinks. Nice. I think that's a word that could describe the afternoon. So on reflection, I'm glad I went.

The only other thing I did today was play the legend of zelda and watch a movie about zombie sushi. Expect a review of the movie on mine and Jimmy's review blog soon! It was hilarious.

Did I do work today? Nope. Not at all. But I think that's okay. It was just for a day. Not many days of school left either. Hooray. Does that sound like excitement? Hmm. Oh, and i'll also have existed for 18 years two days from now. Guess that's some what of an achievement. I've managed to survive a life of luxury! Greeaat. What an accomplishment. But on a serious note, I am looking forward to a nice dinner with my friends. Maybe I'll write about that. Maaaybe. Probably won't do as many posts as I did last month. But we'll see.

Until next time,
Fuck off.

Hahaha. Just kidding. I'm not forcing you to leave until next time.