Late Night

So here I am. Hopelessly floundering around in bed. Just wishing I could fall asleep.

But I can't. And I've got no idea why.

The time is 1:42AM and I wish someone could just knock me out or something so I can sleep.. Heh it's school picture day tomorrow (apparently). So I guess that means I'll be looking like a raccoon! Dark rings around my eyes and whatnot.

Ya know I've been lying here since about 11... Hhhhhhhh. I just had my cross country yesterday. Me and my friend ran together, even though we were in opposing teams. We made sure to make it to the finish line at the same time, so to place tied and everything. But when we got back, turns out we were so late, we didn't even receive a placing! Hahaha, ah well though, what ya gonna do right?

But the real significance of cross country, I kind of just realized today, is that after last years one was when I started writing songs. And now it's been a whole year. So that means I've only really been writing for a year! That's it! Gosh, it really felt longer, I swear. But wow. I'm just kind of astounded at how short a time it's been.

In total Ive made 12 (relatively) complete songs, with a few other ones here and there that are halfies. And 12 is pretty sizable for an album, yeah? I just played all my songs in chronological order today. And it really felt special. It was one of the first times I really appreciated all the work I've actually put into them. Each one describes a different part of my life during that past year. So I've got my own 12 song long diary. And the more I think about it, the cooler it sounds in my head. Well.. To me anyway.

None of these songs are impersonal or anything, and they all have an actually connection to me emotionally and whatever. Which makes them kind of scary to show to people.. Its not art, it's my life. Ahaha so over dramatic, I know. But still.

But the other thing is that, I'm pretty much in the same position I was in a whole year ago. It's like, I know I've been moving, kinda feels like I've developed as a person and stuff. But through it all, I'm still just right back where I started a year ago. Maybe even a little further back? I dunno.

I'm kind of wary to show any of the songs to my band. Or suggest we play one. Since none of the songs are really in any style that any of my band members like. But it's okay. I really appreciate their tastes and what they all bring to the table. Fridays would be so boring if I didn't know you guys. And on that note, I can't wait to perform with ya on the 20th of march! Our first out of school performance. It feels like a big step.

I suppose I should try and go to sleep now. If at first you don't succeed, try and try again, right? Right. 

Goodnight.