Wilting

I've got some roses left over from prom still... How long has it been now? About 3 months or so? Woooow.

Haha they're all dead and wilting. If my goal was to keep them alive, I totally failed. But I didn't really have that in mind. I mean, that's not to say I wanted them to die or anything.

I think these roses can kind of symbolise how things have been going. They started off smelling pretty great, and lookin' colourful. But then over time they just kind of start to decay. And smell. Well, I don't know how they smell now. I'm referring to my own smell now. Don't worry though, I'm going to have a shower after this.

Maaaan, I'm so melodramatic. I was kidding by the way. About all that decaying crap. Things are actually pretty good. I suppose. They're still different. But they're fine. I think I've finally compromised with life. So that's good. You still confuse me though.

Noo.. Confuse isn't really the word. Maybe perplex? Yeah, something like that.

Sometimes I like to just not say anything and wait for somebody else to start a conversation. It's not me being lazy, honest. It's just interesting.. Seeing who can be bothered to say anything and what-not. Am I a hypochondriac? I don't like to think I am. It's not my fault I just felt like fainting yesterday.. It happened twice too! At least the second time I was with people, so if  I did end up collapsing, I don't think they would have just left me.

Today I also had like, really really bad indigestion all day. I still kind of have it too. Is it all just my mind playing tricks on me? If so, please stop. It's a real pain... Why would anybody want to have something wrong with them? It just seems pretty silly..

So I found a new inspiration just recently. A new icon to look up to, and aspire to be like! He's called Brian Setzer. Probably the coolest cat around. Haha. Funny. Cause, he was in a band called the Stray Cats. So. Yeah... Heeh. I've been listening to his songs all the time now. Although I only did just find out about him about two days ago. So, although I say "all the time" is hasn't really been that long.

Why do I keep contradicting myself? I dunno. Maybe it's a sign of my inner turmoil. Fighting with myself. Nah, I doubt it. I'm pretty at ease. Most of the time. Most of the time.

Although sometimes I just wanna lose it. And kick and scream and shout. Just for the hell of it. Just cause it feels like the right thing to do.

But of course I don't do anything like that. Well, not in public anyway. Nah. Not even in my room when I'm all alone. Just swallow it down and bottle it up. Maybe that's what's causing my indigestion? Peerrhhaapps.

This seems pretty long now, so I think it's time to say goodbye.
Goodbye everyone! See you all next time!
Stay tuned, for the next thrilling, radical instalment
of my incredibly exciting life!

Or ya know, you don't have to.
If you don't want.
Up to you.