Mouthful

Okay so, lately I've been getting the feeling like I've just been biting off more than I can chew. And now that I have time to sit back and reflect, I'm kiiiind of starting to get into a little panic attack. Like what the hell am I doing? It's like I'm purposefully trying to make myself as busy as possible. I should really drop out of something, but.. There's nothing that I'd really want to get out of.

It wasn't so bad at first. All I had was Drama rehearsals and they were only on every odd Tuesday and Thursday.
Then I added on training to climb this mountain in a few weeks time. Okaaay, so that's basically my Saturday gone most of the time and Mondays too. I could live with the Saturdays though.
But then we get the news that Drama is also on Saturdays. So that day is kind of sitting pretty precariously in the whole scheme of the days. I mean I wouldn't say I crave order, but I'm worried about when both drama and KK training coincide at the same time. Which one will I drop? Kind of in too deep for both of them now.
Then I joined the URM, which is a review/artsy newsletter kind of thing. I'm actually really excited about it. But there's just that extra layer of "stuff that I've got to do now" to smear on to the growing workload.
And then just today, out of the blue, my friend sent me a message if I wanted to audition with her for this Broadway musical workshop kind of thing going on. So ya know, of course I agreed to it! Wouldn't mind learning how to sing even louder. Might help in the future.
But now that means we've got to practice whatever we're going to audition with on saturday. So there goes that day for homework. Luckily it worked out I don't have KK training, but I DO have drama, as well as my piano lesson. Which is also on Saturday. Did I mention that?
Well anyways, I've decided to just tell the drama guy that I can't make it this Saturday. But then I found out that my piano lessons were cancelled for some reason with my teacher. So I was like "Yeah! Okay, cool! Maybe I can go help at this running thing going on then!" Oh yeah, there's also a charity run going on. I'm kind of too late to get a form and start collecting sponsors for it, but I could have still gone and supported.
Uh, but oh yeah, then this Broadway thing cropped up. So I've gotta do that now. So that's bye bye running. I suppose that's not so bad, but I still wouldn't have minded going there just as an excuse to hang out with people. Is that selfish? I dunno.

Sooo the Audition is this Sunday at a shopping mall nearby. woohoo. This Sunday. The day right before my math IA is due. And also an English Essay I believe? This is really stupid. The smart thing for me to do is to just say no to this Broadway workshop and get on with all my work over the weekend. But.. I just.. Can't... Say.. No! NO! Yeah. So I know the causes of my stress, and I know the ways to fix it. But I'm choosing not to solve it. Heh. Why? Because, well, to be honest I'm not even that sure. It might even end up being a waste of time. They're only going to let 30 people in for the final cut. So that somewhat decreases my chances. But I really just want to audition for the sake of auditioning. Just giving it a go. I think that's all anyone can really do. And I don't want to pass up an opportunity like it.

I'm always complaining about how there's never any chances for me to go out and try doing something musical (non school related). So now's my chance!

Now, on the off chance I do get accepted though, here's the flip side of the dilemma. The days that the workshops are on, just happen to be the days that my school is hosting the Year 12 end of year exams.

hoooraaay

So lucky for me, if I do get in, I'll get to enjoy those lessons accompanied with one, maybe two exams on the same day! Luckily the workshop will be from 7 to 9 or something so I would definitely still be able to make it. But something makes me think that this is gonna make me super tired. Hmm, I wonder why I'd think that? Heh.

But yeah, that's how it is, and that's how it's gonna be. This isn't really a post to complain mind you, I'm just trying to stand back and really understand the repercussions of what might happen if I try to fit all this stuff in my mouth at once.

I'd say there's three possible outcomes:

1. I throw up half way, dropping out of something and be ultimately disappointed at the messy trail I've left behind.
2. I swallow everything, and become a champion! This would be the best possible outcome.
3. And well for this one, I choke and die. Hahaha. Of course I wouldn't literally die. But I could just pass out from exhaustion, Fail my exams and/or screw up my whole IB career by not giving myself enough time to do my homework and coursework.

So what do you think? I'm aiming for outcome two. But we'll see in due course how that goes I guess.

To be honest I just really feel like a hug right now..