El Scorcho

Iiiii'm a loooot like yooouuu. So please, hello, I'm here, and I'm waaaiiiting.
I think I'd be gooood for yooou, and yoouu'd be gooood for meeee.

Ohwoawoawoawoawoaaah!!!

So here I am. In some half awake-half asleep state of mind. It's only 11:33, but I still feel exhausted anyway. Hmmm, no, exhausted isn't the word. Fatigued perhaps? Fatigued with indolence. Although I'm not really that bored.

Today I did some walk thing where I hiked up this big long trail that's basically following a massive open drain. The drain went all the way up to a dam. Surprisingly, the dam didn't look so bad. For it being connected to a drain and everything. I dunno, whenever I think of drains, I tend to think of shit. But I didn't see any floaters, so that's good!

All the way up on the walk I was thinking how cool it would be if the drain was actually a water slide. There was actually already a nice current going on. I know, even though I associated open drains with sewage, I still thought it would be fun to slide down.

I got really burnt. And not in the metaphorical sense either. The actual, physical, stingy, ouchy, ohgodthisisfreakin'painful, kind of sunburn. Can't really move my neck right now without the risk of it rubbing against the tag of my shirt and feeling the stiiiing.

oooh, I just got an email.

And so anyways, I've also got this sweat rash too from my stupid pants I walked. Blahblahblahdy blah, complain complain, okay. Done with talking about that.

So what's new? Well, I've gotten a bit better at using a hairclip from all that practice I had on Friday. So that's uh.. real great. What else... Oh! I've got a bunch of homework too! Hmm.. but that's not really knew.. come on, something interesting..

Oh yes, that's right.

I ran into a mentally scarring image the other.

*Reader discretion is advised at this point, as the following description may shock and/or terrify some people*

So I was walking down a road to the bus stop. And I saw this quite large cat lying down. At first I just thought, "aw, how cute, it's sleeping in the warm sun." But then.. I noticed some read stuff on the side of it's head. From the distance I was at the time, I couldn't make out what it was. So being the frustratingly inquisitive person I am, I decided to check it out. Not a good move. The small amount of red stuff I saw turned out to be a lot more when I got closer. And then I noticed the tire tracks running half way up the animal..

Basically, a car or bike or something ran up this cat from the arse up. And by doing so, actually squeezed out it's internal organs, pushing them out of it's mouth. Because the organs were larger than the cats mouth, this also caused it's jaw to rip open too. Think like when you try and squeeze the air out of a plastic bubble that's got stuff in it, and it basically all splatters out of the ripped open front. That's what I saw. Only in cat form.

Like a train wreck, I couldn't really look away.. Was just kind of stuck there and couldn't move.. Ugh, it just wasn't pleasant. I mean what a way to go, right? Spend your whole life living on the streets. Toughing it out. Living to be quite old (it was quite a big cat, not a scrawny mangy one), only to have your whole life violently pushed out of you. Literally.

Well then. Yeah, that's my gruesome vent for the week I think. While I was writing and reliving that whole horrible scene my mother just came into my room to yell at me too. Apparently I forgot to take my bowl out of her room after I ate dinner in there. I tried to apologize but she was pretty mad, saying I don't take enough initiative.

Guess that's something new for me to work on now, huh?

Zombie

Not to self: Play guitar after doing homework. Well.. Except for just this one more time.

Crayons

Hello, and good evening. It is a calm night tonight here in dusty old Penang. The traffic outside is moving underneath me like small, square mice and the city lights are covering up the sky with an ethereal fog, dauntingly keeping the night sky black. Not a star in sight

But enough of that.

I've recently become quite acquainted with a band whom I didn't think I really liked before, mainly due to their use of synths and incredibly high vocal range (I was just jealous, really). But I have thoroughly enjoyed listening to Foster the People's first album. Yeah you know them. The band that did "Pumped up Kicks". To be honest I don't really see the attraction people have towards that particular song, but hey, whatcha gonna do.

There's this one song that's been stuck in my head ALL day today. It's insane. It's called "Don't Stop (Colour on the Walls)" And I think that little high oo-ee-oo intro bit that's done has been just imprinted into my DNA structure by now. I can't really tell why I like the song so much. I just do. It's even more fun to play along with it. Just real catchy. It's a good thing too, because it managed to cheer me up after this horrible dream I had last night.

So it was one of those dreams that was just so real. So I forgot I was actually dreaming. Felt like weeks and months passed by in it. Basically in the beginning of the dream, my mum had died.

And then as the days rolled by, the grief kind of took over me and I just became a wreck. Haha it was so stupid that I felt like it was real. But all the pain and sadness I felt while asleep was intense. Intense enough for me to remember it still now 12 hours since I woke up. I must have been crying half the time in that dream.. It felt like half the time I was either trying to bite it down cause people were around and I didn't want people to think anything was up or I was just alone. Left to dwell on it.

Ugh, yeeaah. It wasn't too fun. Which is disappointing, because I really like it when I can have fun in my dreams. Nope. This one was just a stinker. I was thinking of writing just here " ... and it made me realise, how fragile life is, and how we can't take things like time we have for granted ..." and blahdy blah blah blah. But that all seemed pretty unnatural. To be honest, that form of self awareness and inner understanding, epiphany if you will, didn't really happen to me when I woke up. No I was more just like "Thank fuck that's finally over!" I was just overwhelmed with relief that I was actually sleeping.

So what's up with dreams and death lately? No idea. At least there isn't anything wrong with my mum now anyway, so any chance of that dream becoming a reality any time soon is preeeetty slim. Thankfully! Don't wanna live through that again. Even if it was just a dream.

Well then, besides all this talk of death, things have actually been going really good! (I think)
Yeeep, indeedly doo, things are looking pretty swell. I tip my hat to good fortune and hope for more to come! Haha, not really. I totally wouldn't be wearing a hat indoors.

That's like, totally douchy....

Who Would Have Thought?

Woohoo!

Turns out I'm not a complete screw up when it comes to school. That's good I suppose.

Hmm, I dunno why, but something about parent teacher interviews always gets me on edge. Hahah it's like I'm afraid my teachers have just been harbouring some secret bad news about me, and they've just been waiting until my parents are there to say it!

"Mm, yes, you're son. Well I don't know how to put this.. You see, We believe he is suffering from a disease known as idiocy. No no, don't think there is a cure. Much to severe already."

Haha okay that sounded more like a doctors appointment, but you get what I mean.

But it's aaalll good. Even my maths teacher who told us she's lost the will to live because of us was pretty happy.

So that's one less thing to think about.

Now then, what to do now? For the first time since I think the first week of term one, I've actually caught up with all my homework quicker than just waiting the day before it's due. Well.. except for economics. But that can wait for the weekend! Heh.

What can I say? Old habits die hard. But things are looking up. Hopefully.

What if I'm just upside down? So I think I'm looking up. But really. Really. I'm looking down. And this whole time, I've just been a sitting duck, for my impending doooom.

But no. Only joking. I don't really think like that! Although I do seem to be quite fond of italics. And that was the perfect excuse to use lots of them.

Oh but speaking of impending doom, I dreamt of my friend murdering me in cold blood last night. I guess I had it coming though. All of those hair jokes had to hold some consequence, huh? Hahaha ahh.. So funny. I like laughing. Just like how I like hiccuping.

Well alrighty then. That's it for now I'd say.

さようなら！

Term Tree

So it turns out tomorrow is the first day of term three.

Woopadeedoodaday!

But Nah Im not too distressed. In fact I guess I'm kind of excited? I dunno. It seems I can't sleep, so maybe that's because I'm just looking so damn forward to tomorrow!

Hah, maybe.. But I just hope this'll be a good term. Heck, I'd even settle for an alright term. But you know what? It kind of feels like things might be lookin' up!

Well wasn't that a painfully optimistic statement. I know, I'm being totally out of character, right? But I don't really mind. If there is going to be a time for optimism, I suppose it would be now before anything's actually happened. I guess we'll just have to wait and see, huh?

So here we go!

Spiral

Sometimes when I close my eyes, when I'm lying in bed after a long day, it feels like the entire world around me is spinning around. And the longer I keep my eyes closed, the faster everything spirals. Does anyone else ever feel that? I'm quite curious, cause it's been happening with me for as long as I can remember. Just now in fact, I closed my eyes, tried to sleep, but whoosh. It was like I was stationry but my bed was spinning underneath me. Hahah it's just Weird! It actually spins so fast until the point where I can't help but open my eyes. But the whole reason there's spinning is because I'm tired! So it's pretty much a vicious cycle. Anyways, I really just wanted to talk about that this time. I am pretty tired. But that's mainly cause it's 2:22 in the morning. But ya know? I feel a kind of change coming on. Like a less apathetic kind of change. Thinking of maybve going down to the gym again. I think I've really let myself go.. Heh. But that'll all change next time I wake up. Maybe.

Well, Well

Hey, guess what?

Seems I've got over 1000 views now.

Not too shabby seeing as I originally made this blog with the thought of no one ever looking at it.

Ahahaha.

I don't know what it is about this particular number. Maybe it's the first of the four digits? It's gonna take a lot longer to reach 5 digits now! Ho boy! We'll see how far I get later I guess.

Hmmm, well let's see. What to shed light on from this past week.

It really just seems this holiday has proven to make my brain kinda rot in my skull. I think it's starting to let off a horrible stupid stink now. I suppose that's not normally good. But for some reason, I don't really mind.

Okay, that's a lie. I don't wanna be an idiot. Heh, but I'm not anyway. Right? Naaaaaah. I just act brash sometimes and get caught in the moment easily. I think I hold grudges too strongly. That's a really big problem...

Like there's this one guy I knew when I was about 10. He was a total douchebag. Well, I didn't even know what a douchebag was back then (the insult or the bag that holds vaginal fluid) but in hindsight I can see he was one. He made it very clear that he didn't like my horrible weight issues. I suppose I didn't like that either. But he didn't have to make my life a pain. Like this one time, there was a bunch of people including me sitting on these park benches at school. Practically identical to the ones I sit on during lunch time. Anyway, he organised everybody to stand up at the same time and run away from the table while I was sitting down. What happened was the whole table flipped over as soon as everyone got off cause I was so heavy.. That was pretty embarrassing. After that I think I felt hate for the first time.

Haha! So dramatic right? But I can't believe I still remember that. I mean it's been 7 years since. Get over it man!

But I am over it. Just reflecting I guess. Stuff like that just sticks with me.

Maybe I'm just thinking about this cause I'm listening to Radiohead.. Almost every song I hear from them moves me. It's incredible. I dunno if I've said this before, but it's just the layers I can hear within each piece. It feels like it goes on forever into my head. Like there's a whole universe or something in my head, and it's broadcasting all over it. I've never been high, but I imagine it would be somewhat like listening to Radiohead. I can see why a lot of people wouldn't really like that kind of music though. I never liked it before. Then something clicked and I was like "HOLY FREAKIN' CRAP, WHAT IS THIS!?"

Yeah, that's a direct quote, by the way. I really did say that.

I wonder if I'll be able to make music that makes people affected like that. Hmmm. Probably not. Sounds like it took them a really long time to produce a sound like that. And I just don't have the patience!

I'm hoping I'll get more patient some day. My piano teacher noticed I'm very impatient. Always saying I rush into things too quickly. Haha lucky it's only playing piano though. Not like I'm charging into burning buildings without thinking.

Although speaking of burning buildings. We got some aftershock earthquake up from Indonesia over here. Haven't really checked up on how things are going over there. I was too amazed by the mass hysteria shown by the random people in the shopping mall when it happened. Everyone running around like the world was gonna end. Come on people. It's just a little shaking, calm down. I'm glad I'm friends with people who don't go into total freak out mode when something like that happens. Haha my mum is one of the people who does freak out. Then my little brother reflects her fears times 10. It's pretty funny sometimes. But I love 'em anyway.

So my ex girlfriend started texting me all of a sudden, just randomly. And for some reason, mainly out of guilt I guess.. I'm a really bad person when it comes to, confrontation I suppose. I don't really know what to say or do with stuff like this. So I just kind of, turn my back and try and ignore everything. Yeah it's ignorant I know. But that's why I finally answered one of her texts. To try and get better with that. I guess there isn't anything wrong with being friends though right? Yeah.. I guess not. We'll see how this turns out. I don't want to be anything more than friends though. That's for sure.

So yeah, I suppose that's it for now.

Yay for one thousand and three views!

Maybe next time something more interesting will have happened.

Everybody Run

The Psycho's got a gun!

Just kidding! Not a psycho. Just little ol' me.

Just kidding again! I don't have a gun. That's a very punishable offence here. To own a firearm. I think. Could be wrong.

However! I do have something for you.

Two Songs.

They're both acoustic this time. I actually compose all of my songs on my acoustic guitar. So today I decided to just whack out two of them. One right after the other. There's no drum track this time. But I think the balancing between the guitar and voice is A LOT better. But then again, I'll never know unless anyone tells me.

So please! Do share your thoughts!

The first one I recorded is simply called The End. Original right? Any events described in this song are entirely fictional. Any likeness to real life is completely coincidental. However, if you think this song does have some actual contextual background, please just keep in mind that these were my thoughts and feelings at just one point in time. No point being stuck in the past. Hah! But lucky it's all just pretend anyway right?

Here it is: The End

And then the next song is one that I had a lot of fun recording. It was basically just a test of doing two vocal runs put on top of each other. It features both random noises AND a canon! It's something I've never really experimented with before so if it's incredibly crap, please give me some ideas on how to improve!

You might remember I wrote a blog post about this concept a few weeks back. It's called Brain Transplant. And basically it's a guy promoting his new surgical miracle. Kind of like the craze with plastic surgery, except instead of changing the outside, you change the inside as well. Weird right?

Here is this one: Brain Transplant

On a non-musical related note, I went to my good friend's birthday party today. And it was really fun! Happy Birthday again! If you happen to read this that is.

But anyway, I digress. Expect some more acoustic stuff. Cause I'm feeling pretty lazy. Heehee. The album for these is called Caustic Acoustics. Why? Well, ask yourself. These two tracks are track number 12 000 000 and 11 000 0036 respectively. Enjoy!

Troubadour

Tomorrow, I'm gonna fulfil my semi-aspiration (right next to becoming a telegram delivery boy)!

That's right, I shall go out to the streets, and earn my bread money through the heroics of playing my guitar, while travelling the wide open road. Ah, I can't wait to get out there.

I wonder if anyone will even bother to listen. I'll probably end up blocking the way for someone to get through, or interrupting a conversation with all my loudness. Heheh. But I don't care. 

Persistency! That's the key to anything. I suppose anyway. There's a true possibility that nothing fruitful will come of this, but hey. I don't really mind. It'll be an experience nonetheless! 

So if anyone feels like giving me their money, I'll be somewhere on gurney drive maybe. I'm not completely sure where the best place to busk in Penang is. So this'll be a bit of a trial and error kind of thing. 

On a different topic, the other day I went to a music concert thingy with my friends on Saturday. It was pretty fun! There was this gypsy band from Russia. Can't quite remember the name of the band, but they were really good! It was two violins and a guitar. Flamenco style ;) 

There was also some Mongolian throat singing. Holy shit. That was pretty freaking cool. Agggghhhhhhhhhhhhhgghhhghhhhh. Do that noise while groaning really heavily, about two octaves down or up from your normal voice. And you got throat singing. Hahaha it was pretty funny during the actual concert part at night. Talking about stuff. Preeetty awesome.

Oh and I am not very smooth at all. Total moron sometimes. Heeh. But if you know me, you'd already know that by now.

So yeah, I guess that's about it right now. Maybe I'll talk about what happens tomorrow some other time. Until then! Goodbye!