Crayons

Hello, and good evening. It is a calm night tonight here in dusty old Penang. The traffic outside is moving underneath me like small, square mice and the city lights are covering up the sky with an ethereal fog, dauntingly keeping the night sky black. Not a star in sight

But enough of that.

I've recently become quite acquainted with a band whom I didn't think I really liked before, mainly due to their use of synths and incredibly high vocal range (I was just jealous, really). But I have thoroughly enjoyed listening to Foster the People's first album. Yeah you know them. The band that did "Pumped up Kicks". To be honest I don't really see the attraction people have towards that particular song, but hey, whatcha gonna do.

There's this one song that's been stuck in my head ALL day today. It's insane. It's called "Don't Stop (Colour on the Walls)" And I think that little high oo-ee-oo intro bit that's done has been just imprinted into my DNA structure by now. I can't really tell why I like the song so much. I just do. It's even more fun to play along with it. Just real catchy. It's a good thing too, because it managed to cheer me up after this horrible dream I had last night.

So it was one of those dreams that was just so real. So I forgot I was actually dreaming. Felt like weeks and months passed by in it. Basically in the beginning of the dream, my mum had died.

And then as the days rolled by, the grief kind of took over me and I just became a wreck. Haha it was so stupid that I felt like it was real. But all the pain and sadness I felt while asleep was intense. Intense enough for me to remember it still now 12 hours since I woke up. I must have been crying half the time in that dream.. It felt like half the time I was either trying to bite it down cause people were around and I didn't want people to think anything was up or I was just alone. Left to dwell on it.

Ugh, yeeaah. It wasn't too fun. Which is disappointing, because I really like it when I can have fun in my dreams. Nope. This one was just a stinker. I was thinking of writing just here " ... and it made me realise, how fragile life is, and how we can't take things like time we have for granted ..." and blahdy blah blah blah. But that all seemed pretty unnatural. To be honest, that form of self awareness and inner understanding, epiphany if you will, didn't really happen to me when I woke up. No I was more just like "Thank fuck that's finally over!" I was just overwhelmed with relief that I was actually sleeping.

So what's up with dreams and death lately? No idea. At least there isn't anything wrong with my mum now anyway, so any chance of that dream becoming a reality any time soon is preeeetty slim. Thankfully! Don't wanna live through that again. Even if it was just a dream.

Well then, besides all this talk of death, things have actually been going really good! (I think)
Yeeep, indeedly doo, things are looking pretty swell. I tip my hat to good fortune and hope for more to come! Haha, not really. I totally wouldn't be wearing a hat indoors.

That's like, totally douchy....