Control

Self control, to be more specific.

I think I could do with some more. That's why I'm gonna do some things, and see if I can actually stick to them. Hell, if I could will myself into not shaving for basically a month and a half, I can do anything now.

But we'll see I suppose. My mind has been wandering around a lot these past few days. Concentration is probably at an all time low. Can't really do the same thing for very long, or else I'll get bored. Jumping. I'm always just jumping from one thing to the next. Maybe that's good. Maybe that's healthy. Hard to say, really.

I'd like to write a second album during these holidays (or gap year if I'm a rejected loosah). It's gonna be called "I know I don't know". I've even already got the album title song that inspired it. It's gonna be pretty introspective I guess. Experimental too. It's all about the experiments. Everything I do is an experiment I guess. That's how you grow and develop what you wanna do. My song about Ophelia is gonna be on the album too, and the demo for that is actually finished. I'd like to go over it with people though, and get some more input, because I'm not entirely happy with it yet. But it's basically a rough indication of what I want it to sound like. I think the hardest part of any composition is ending it. It's one thing just to do an instrumental run of the chorus, followed by a cadence. But.. I wanna do more than just that haha. That's what I'll be thinking about the most. The end. Well, and the middle too I suppose. Because development can also be tricky. Good development anyway. So yeah, that's what I'm gonna focus on for that album.

I've started working out again too. I now also remember why I hated it so much in the first place. Uuurrrgghh. Fuck weights. Seriously. Just.. Fuck 'em. I only do that twice a week though. The other days I go running, and then every Sunday I go kayaking. That's like a "well done, me" treat after torturing myself for the other days. Running's not so bad either though. That's what I did today, right after I had to run into school because you can never trust a bus here and you can never think it won't take 35 bloody minutes for a bus to come by you. GAH. It was really crowded too. Everyone's everything was everywhere around me and that made me feel quite uncomfortable. But it was like my phone was speaking to me though. When I first got on and saw the bus was ridiculously crowded, a song called "Hold On" came on. And then when I thought things couldn't get any worse, the bus then decided to randomly drive into the station, instead of just going straight. But once again, my phone was there to comfort me with "Everything Will Be Alright".It was all on random too, so I was pretty impressed by it.

And now I'm just kinda trying to pass the time because I'm waiting. But I think I've written enough here for now. See you some other time.