Hold the candle by the tip of the flame

I, I, I, I, I just wanna go UUGGGGGGHHHHHHHH. But, no. It's not practical. Why bother with that. Just gotta tell yourself -stop- You know? There will come a time when things like certain trains of thought will be long gone from the station. But do I want them gone? Maybe it's better to just keep them in the corner, a blanket covering the caboose. They'll collect dust, and eventually fade from memory. Will they? I don't know. -stop- That's the most important thing I think. Just gotta remind myself to stop every now and then. I've gotten pretty good at rationalizing I think. I can see when my thoughts are spinning a bit uncontrollably out of control, which makes it a lot easier then to just say -stop- I mean the thoughts come back as sure as vultures pick the boiling scabs off decaying bodies in the middle of a desert. But, it's okay. That's when you yet again just say -stop-

Lately, my nose has been really irritated. It's killing me. I don't feel at peace ever. Sleeping isn't even nice because I can't get away from my Damn nose. Fuck! What I wouldn't give for the itchiness to go away. It's been getting worse and worse for over 2 weeks now. Uggghhh. -stop-

Can I tell you something? I am kinda freaking out about university. Kind of. I mean. Just a bit. It's just... How am I ever going to be sure I'll have enough inspiration to be able to write a new piece every week? It's gonna be hard at first, I imagine. Once I get it started I suppose it won't be so bad. But... I can't just write things willy nilly, ya know? I gotta actually be thinking of something. Otherwise it's just a piece of churned out shit, right? There's gotta be some kind of feeling behind whatever it is I'm writing. Otherwise there's no point. But Damn. I don't know what it's going to be like. I don't know -stop-

Sigh.. If you keep putting on the brakes, you'll never get anywhere. I'll be fine. Everything will be fine. Whatever. By the way, the new Noah and the Whale album; it was a little disappointing. Not that it's "bad". It's just.. Not what I hoped for I guess. I suppose it's good though. If all those songs I like from them are just bred from total heartache and depression, then I'm glad the songwriter doesn't have to experience feelings like those for another album. It reminds me of Weezer though. Both their second albums were totally emotion fueled, but then after that, it's like they're all dried out. They had nothing left to give out, so all that was left was happy songs about being happy and full of joy and love and whatever. It's interesting though. The connection between the two band's careers. Hmmmm.. Careers. -stop-