Sticky Fingers

Mmm, yes, that's what happens when you stick your hand in a jar of jam. Do you like jam? I quite like jam. Oh yes, quite so. Jam is just one of those wonders of nature. I bet Insane Clown Posse would call it a Miracle. Don't get me wrong, I'm not as stupid as them, but there's just something about preserved fruit that I find ever so fascinating.

Speaking of jam, I've always wanted to jam with so many different people. It makes me wonder if I ever will. Only time can tell I suppose. After today, anything seems possible! Hah, well, "anything", but not anything. If you catch my drift. Which, I'm sure you do. It's pretty hard to miss. Just look for the trail of jam.

UGH. I HATE FARMVILLE REQUESTS.

I don't have any qualms that people play it, but do they have to tell me about it all the time? Do they have to keep sending me requests, telling me to join it? Hey here's a crazy idea, why don't we sit down, have a few jars of jam, and talk about the damn game first. Make me interested, then maybe I'll consider wasting my time on that stupid game. It's like going up to some random person on the street you don't even know, giving them a jar of jam, and then running away. If I was that person, I'd be very confused, and wouldn't know whether or not to eat the jam. Cause you can jammify other stuff other than fruit you know. Like, toe jam for instance. Ever thought about that? I have, and it's disgusting. But to be honest, I've never even seen what toe jam looks like, it just sounds gross. It'd probably give you sticky fingers too if you dip your hand in a jar of it.

I like strawberry jam, blueberry jam, chicken jam, roast Salisbury steak jam, plum jam, apricot jam, fried onion jam, black pepper jam, Pot of Basil jam, jam from the concentrated urinary tract of a pig, jumbalya jam. All sorts! Yum yum! Jam for all, jam for all!

Speaking of jam, there's a terrible bio write up just waiting for me to write up. But you see, I'm in a bit of a jam. My printer is in the jam-mobile over down yonder, helping out a jam concert in the jam factory where they produce jam. So, i said, okay, fine, i get it, you're in a jam, you're out of jam, and you want some jam (cause they're hungry of course, this jam is 7 hours and 52 minutes long), so i said to them, I said to them hey, if you're in such a jam, don't be a jam, just kick out the jams. Go back to that there jam factory, plug in the printer, and get the ball rolling. But then, they told me right, that the jam is too thick, it's too sticky, they can't U-turn. So I said, hold your horses son, are you saying it's a sticky jam? Well you better be careful cause i gotta tell ya that sticky jam ain't for no second-rate jam catchers I'll tell ya that yes I will. They just said waitaminute waitaminute, we gots an idea. I told 'em well don't tell me we gots an idea, go on and spit 'em out, you got jam in your ears or summin'? So they told me there's a power point in the car thats in the sticky jam way out down in yonder. So greeaaat, i said. I said, greeeaaat. Just jam it right in then and let's get this ball rolling, quoting myself from earlier see? So then they jam it in the jam hole where they jammed it real hard and there was this buzzing noise, kinda like a fridge that only holds jam, and they were like, woah man, we don't know how to tell ya this, but the printer. It's jammed.

HOOHOOHOOOOOO, that was hilarious. I don't know where i was going with that, but I went there and i got there HARD. Aw yeah, that felt real good.

I love stories. Expect more some day.