White Noise

It's not physically possible to study in my room. There's just way too much distraction. Everywhere. It's like, when you turn on a TV and it's got white noise covering the whole screen. That's how much distraction is in here. This is one of those distractions. I mean really, just my computer in general. I'd say the computer makes up about 35% of the distraction ratio in here. Then my guitar takes up about 56.97% of it. That's a pretty big part. Oh, and then there's my phone too, ya know texting and whatever, so that takes up about 20.43%. But then that follows me around anyway. So whenever I'm walking around in the world, I'm always carrying a potential 20.43% of distraction with me. Hmm, my bed is also in my room (no shit), and that can be a distraction too. Especially when it hasn't been made, so it's all inviting and ready for me. So I'd give that a 12% because I don't really nap that much.

Now if you're one of those people who actually bothered counting up all those percentages, you may find that they don't add up to 100. That's because, I just put up random numbers. I had the good intentions of trying to make them all sort out neatly, and they're all crazy fractions, but no. Just no. Not this time. No effort from me. I'm just far too distracted. Ooh look, a text.

So today was the first day of mocks. WOOP WOOP. Not bad, not bad. I normally do pretty terribly on exams when I think they're "not bad", but oh well. I'm just gonna go with it. I think Spanish is gonna be the hardest. And that's on Friday. That's also the day I'll be getting my haircut. I'm thinking of getting it exactly how it was last time I got it cut, because I'm a creature of habit. Terrible. What a terrible attitude! I need something different. Something to reflect my mood of late.

Woah I just realised something. Why is the g in sign silent, but in signature it isn't? I just love all the inconsistencies of this language. Well, of any language really. I think it's kinda endearing. Okay I'm not going to go more into that, because I tried to just then, but I bored myself to sleep.

Holidays are dangerous for people who live in their head I think. It's mainly because, when you're away from the schedule you're used to, and the people you see and interact with daily, it's easy to forget who you are, and how you are in reality. It's really easy to remember yourself differently than how you actually are. So you're able to build yourself up in your head, thinking you're this totally different person inside, but then when push comes to shove, and you're put back into that same groove you went away from for 3 weeks, you suddenly smash into the brick wall of reality. All that mental preparation you've done is pretty much flushed away, and in the end you are who you were three weeks ago, except you forgot to manage your expectations, and let yourself forget who you are. And yeah, yeah, I know that all this mental change stuff is only able to be possible by the individual in question and no one else, but it doesn't change the fact that it can be hard readjusting yourself. I'm assuming this really only happens to people who live in their head, because they'd internalise everything, reflect on them, and then as a result make weird expectations that, when you look back on them, seem pretty ridiculous.

But that's just how it goes sometimes.